LONG PLAYS by DANIEL CURZON
(all scripts are copyrighted)
Most are in COLLECTED PLAYS OF DANIEL CURZON (Amazon.com)
FULL-LENGTH
QUEEN LEAR -- A COMEDY
What if KING LEAR were a comedy, revealing all the things you don't like about Shakespeare,
from verbosity to convenient coincidence to preposterous situations galore?
CHARCTERS:
QUEEN LEAR, female, queen of Britain, over fifty
GONORRHEA, eldest daughter of Queen Lear
REAGAN, the Queen's middle daughter
ALBANY, husband of Gonorrhea
CONRWALL, husband of Reagan
EARL of KENT
EARL of WORCHESTERSHIRE (pronounced WOO)
EDMUND, a bastard
EDGAR, son of the Earl of Worchestershire, later Poor Tommy
OSWALD, servant to Gonorrhea
FOOL, a boyish or girlish entertainer
ASSORTED servants, soldiers, messengers, as needed
Plus: Cordelia, the Queen's youngest daughter
STYLE: comic Shakespeare
PLAYING TIME: 90 MINUTES, with one intermission
CLICK HERE for SCRIPT:
2. ROME DIDN'T FALL. IT WAS PUSHED
You have sword-play. You have word-play. You even have a play! Three travelers on the road to Rome: a donkey, pirates, a would-be eunuch, Vestal Virgins, barbarians, a mad Emperor, and lepers -- everything you could want in an evening's entertainment.
CHARACTERS: (7)
IGNORAMUS, male, any age, smarter than he is given credit for
PIUS ANXIUS, male, any age, a killjoy
TITUS GASEOUS OBNOXIUS, male, over forty, a traditionalist
OTHERS: (4) to play all the other roles
SETTING: on a road to Rome in a cart pulled by an invisible donkey, then a street in Rome
STYLE: Comedy
PLAYING TIME: one and a half hours
3. WHAT DID Da VINCI DO in BED?
-- Leonardo Da Vinci has to deal with suspicions and accusations about his love life, with all sorts of visitors from his mother to Cesare Borgia.
CHARACTERS: (8, actors 7)
LEONARDO, 48, wide-ranging in his talents and interests, but vulnerable because of his attraction to teenage boys.
SALAI, 20, his student and boyfriend, cunning, devilish,
manipulative, down to earth
CATERINA, 68, his mother, a warm, loving peasant
CESARE BORGIA, 25, a would-be patron, cruel, cold
ISABELLLA d'ESTE, 26, an entitled would-be patroness
BUTCHER, 35, a member of the town council, a spy
GEROLAMO MELFI, 30, an aristocratic military man, father of a would-be student
FRANCESCO MELFI, 30, wise, loyal, appears in Act II, nineteen years later, played by the man who plays his father in Act I
SETTINGS: Two studios of Leonardo Da Vinci, virtually identical, except for a few upgrades in Act II
STYLE: Please no artificial "classical" tone to anyone here, grounded in an earthy but witty realism
PLAYING TIME: About two hours, plus an intermission
In Volume XIII of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon
CLICK for SCRIPT
4. PUPPETS RULE! -- Bisexual CASS has encounters with his eccentric, fed-up mother and disabled brother in the first scene; he encounters a quiet yet sexy person of indeterminate gender on an airplane in the second scene; in the final scene he encounters God, his mother, his brother, and his Lovie, all with "Happy" Endings!
CHARACTERS: (4), with one doubling
CASS, male, 25-45, sympathetic, bisexual, actor, son, brother, lover, and believer
VOICE, (over PA system), male, mature, deep and authoritative
MA, female, 45-65, very eccentric, fed-up with care-giving
GOD, male, 45-65, forgetful, confused, moody; also plays airplane Voice
Plus Two Puppet Characters (the brother and the lover)
PLAYING TIME: 80 minutes, no intermission
note: Each scene in this full-length play can also be performed separately as a one-act (25 minutes each)
PRODUCED: Scene #2 ("Carpe Diem Airlines") was a hit at New York New Works Theatre Festival, fall, 2015.
(in Volume XII of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
5. JANE AUSTEN'S NEW PLAY and SEX LIFE -- Jane Austen is back from a two-hundred-year bout of cryo-preservation with a new play to try out at her home, her first since childhood. She's invited some locals to help out as Utility Actors, and her Swiss-German "care-giver" is not happy with her or the contents of her new play. Oh, and you're invited too, if you behave!
CHARACTERS: (8)
JANE AUSTEN, about 40, the British author
HANS-AXL, male, Swiss German, 25-45, Jane's "care-giver"
MRS. NUHRANI, a conservative Muslim next-door neighbour
UTILITY ACTOR #1, male, 40-60, for various parts
UTILITY ACTRESS #1, female, 40-60, for various parts
UTILITY ACTOR #2, male, 20-40, for various parts
UTILITY ACTRESS #2, female, 20-40, for various parts
NIGEL, male, 30-60, a member of the gutter press
MOOD: dramedy (the play within the play is a roman a clef)
SETTING: present day, with mimed actions of 1810
PLAYING TIME: 2 hours, one intermission
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
5.THE IMPORTANCE of BEING CECILY, or CECIL -- an alternate reality to Oscar Wilde's famous play
Characters: (6, with one doubling)
ALGERNON MONCRIEF, a wealthy young man about town, 25-35
LANE, a male servant, nice looking, 30-45
LORD NEVILLE BRACKNELL, cordial, stiff, over 50
CECILY CARDEW, a boyish girl, 20 – 25 (played by a male or a female, preferably a male)
MISS PRIZZIN, a governess, severe, of the unbending “progressive” persuasion, over 40
CECIL CARDEW, Cecily’s older brother, 21 – 26 (should be played by the same male or female who plays Cecily
GWENDOLEN FAIRFAX, lipstick lesbian daughter of Lord Bracknell, 25-35
Mood: Bright Comedy
Style: Victorian setting
Playing Time: 2 hours with one Intermission
ALSO: stand-alone one-act of Scene 2, with Annoyingly Correct Miss Prizzin, Cecily, and Algernon.
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume XI of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
ALSO: PUBLISHED as a separate play by NEXT STAGE PRESS (2020)
6. SUCH BAD FRIENDS -- A woman tries to force two friends of hers to become friends of each other, with disastrous results, amusing but disastrous results. How much trouble is a friendship worth?
Characters: (3) Stuart, flamboyantly gay, unrestrained, borderline nuts
Dennis, cautious, polite, ironic, lonely
Callie: a busybody, a do-gooder, also sarcastic
Mood: dramatic comedy
Playing Time: 2 hours
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume XI of COLLECTED PLAYS of DANIEL CURZON)
7. SCREAMING TO GET OUT, or Why I Hate the Theater – While waiting for the director, who is late, three actors at a rehearsal of silly and sentimental one-acts engage in various improv scenarios that they feel are never permitted on stage, led by a world-weary, militant celibate contrarian and a feisty, wealthy woman, but resisted by a naïve young actor
Characters: (3) A, B, and C, as described above.
Mood: Edgy comedy Playing Time: about an hour
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in VOLUME XI of COLLECTED PLAYS of DANIEL CURZON)
8. THIRTEENTH NIGHT, or MALVOLIO'S REVENGE
-- Puritan Malvolio from Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, or What You Will makes good on his promise to take revenge "upon the whole pack of you," from aristocratic Lady Oblivia Lovecock to her former Clown now turned lawyer, Fester; from drunken wastrel Sir Toby Fartte and his wife, Ave Mariah, to their foolish friend, Sir Andrew Dribbledick, to whoever else gets in his way, whether it be the boy-dressing Viola or her over-eating husband, Duke Porcino. No one is safe, including Malvolio's fiancee, the former maid Molly Brightheart, or his "spy," the servant John B. Simpleton. It is a problem play that blows the lid off the surprising perversities of the original play.
MOOD: a neo-Shakespearean comedy, but completely understandable.
CHARACTERS: (13) bitter Malvolio; his fiancee Molly Brightheart, Lady Oblivia Lovecock, who has more than a fancy for girls dressed like boys; her husband, Sebastian with a secret "pirate" past; Antonio, a loud and proud pirate who loved Sebastian, at least when he was a lad; debt-ridden, alcoholic Sir Toby Fartte, his on-the-wagon wife, Ave Mariah, Sir Andrew Dribbledick, a gull seeking a wife; Lawyer Fester, Fabian, his cynical assistant; the Lady Viola; her husband the Duke Porcino, who is in love with Oblivia and not his wife; John B. Simpleton, a put-upon servant; 3 walk-ons.
PLAYING TIME: 3 hours LIK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume X of COLLECTED PLAYS of DANIEL CURZON)
9. WOULDA, COULDA, SHOULDA, or God Throws a Party
– God invites six people to a suspicious "party" and makes them go through their entire lives in two hours, from kindergarten through a high school dance, a class reunion, speed dating (twice), a funeral, a group therapy session, a med-spa, a nursing home, and the Gates of Heaven and Last Judgment with Talent Show. Who would choose to live his or her life exactly as it is going to be, including one’s death, if it shown to you before it happens? Hmm?
Mood: Absurdist Comedy
Characters: (7)
God: Male or Female (change pronouns), charming, feisty, manipulative, and well dressed
The Kids: Three men, three women, probably best if in their twenties:
Calvin, male, atheistic, smart, attractive, arrogant
Ashley, female, kooky, artistic, neurotic
Jeremiah, male, silly, dumb, sweet, sympathetic
Madison, female, traditional, conniving, hyper-vigilant
Stanley, male, kind, dutiful, quiet, boring
Belinda Sue, female, impulsive, highly sexed, troubled, lazy
Setting: Mere suggestions of the locales mentioned above, very few special props, six chairs, a spatula, etc.
Style: Realistic, but hyper so.
Playing Time: 2 ½ hours with Intermission
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume X of COLLECTED PLAYS of DANIEL CURZON)
10. METER MAIDS IN FLAMES (a comedy noir)
— A shy, ineffectual man gets in touch with his inner murderer, the worst friend in the world, his senile sister, a humorless daughter from Morbidia, to say nothing of his inner cunt.
Mood: Off-beat comedy
Characters: (5) Public Shelby, Secret Shelby, Polly the terrible friend,
Jeanette the embarrassingly senile sister, Zara the daughter any parent would dread.
Setting: Present day, no special sets needed except for the front of a mausoleum, suggestions of a group-home, a restaurant, an apartment.
Style: Noir Absurdist
Playing Time: 1hr 45 plus Intermission
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(In Volume IX of COLLECTED PLAYS of DANIEL CURZON)
11. CHRISTMAS: Naughty and Nice — Five one-acts with Christmas themes, from the poignant to the pungent to the Absurd:
ACT I "A Christmas Mistake" (a touching story of a little girl (use a hand puppet) and her father encountering a homeless man on Christmas Eve), "Honest Xmas Presents" (a biting satire on what families give as gifts – and what they would if they could),
"A Christmas Miracle" (two closeted gay Air Force officers on a miraculous night in the Officers’ Club), "Nuns and Buns" (two Catholic nuns have Christmas dinner out in a cafeteria but get into a spirited theological debate that gets out of hand).
Alternatively: for one-hour show instead of "The Christmas to End All Christmases" use "Body and Soul: Xmas version")
ACT II "The Christmas to End All Christmases" (Ebenezer Putz encounters numerous visits from all the Christmas characters you can think of, from Bob Scratchit to the Little Drummer Boy to Sadie Claus and even Santa and Street Jesus).
Mood: Mostly comedy, some drama
Characters: (5) With properly versatile actors, all the parts can be played by a small cast, probably best with a mature male, a mature female, a young male, a young female, another male of any age. Some female parts can be played in drag.
Setting: Various, suggested, more with props and costume touches than full-blown ones.
Style: Realistic to Absurd, depending on each one-act.
Playing Time: About 90 minutes with one fifteen-minute Intermission
Produced by Dark Theatre Co., Portland, Maine, December, 2009.
PUBLISHED by: Proplay
Staged Reading, Western Edge Theatre Company, British Columbia, CANADA, December, 2015 "It was great!: -- director Frank Moher. "Honest Xmas Presents" performed at Wausee High School, Wausee, Iowa, May, 2018 --cancelled
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(In Volume IX of COLLECTED PLAYS of DANIEL CURZON)
11. ONE DAMNED THING AFTER ANOTHER, or Oops, That Must Have Hurt
— A gay man and the two women who love him exchange e-mails as the
vicissitudes and passions of their lives ebb and flow
Mood: Drama, with some comedy
Characters: (3) Ted, Kitti, and Lola (all between 45-60) aristocratic Kitti has a British accent. Lola has a touch of a Brooklyn accent. Ted has an American accent
Setting The three sit or possible use podiums reading the e-mails they have
written to each other; no need to memorize the lines
Style: Realistic
Playing Time: About three hours, with one Intermission
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume IX of COLLECTED PLAYS of DANIEL CURZON)
12. ENTER THE PRINCESS
— Princess Margaret of Great Britain was the Princess Diana of her day. Here we see her witty, snotty, loving, frustrated self as she goes from a 21-year-old to her death at age 71, seen mainly through the three loves of her life.
Mood: Drama, with witty lines and some other liberties
Characters: (10-25, depending on budget) Princess Margaret; Group Captain Townsend; Antony Armstrong-Jones; Roddy Llewellyn; the Queen; Prince Philip; Ladies-in-Waiting; Voices; Servants; Officials, etc. with doubling except in the main roles
Setting: A platform for public appearances; various rooms for private events
(the same room with variations can be used)
Style: Realistic biography, with some ghost and imaginary sequences and some enhancements
Playing Time: Three-plus hours, with Intermission
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume VIII of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
13. DESPICABLE DAUGHTER, or Shed No Tears for April
— A sociopathic daughter and a feisty gay man fight for the love (and estate) of a woman dying of cancer.
Mood: Drama, with comedy elements
Characters: (4) The difficult daughter; the put-upon mother; gay friend
of mother and executor of her will; and his long-time partner
Setting: Modern day, minimal sets; use a few props and pools of light
Style: Realistic, except when the characters move in slow motion from
one scene to the next before resuming realistic movement within the scene.
Playing Time: About 2 hours, plus intermission
(in Volume VIII of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
14. BLESS ME FATHER. I HAVE SINNED?
— Sebastian, a young Southern gentleman out of a Tennessee Williams play, goes to confession and gives the Catholic priest an earful. Meanwhile, Marilyn Monroe shows up in the adjoining confessional with sexual problems.
Characters: (4) Sebastian, 30-40, nice-looking, Southern accent, as in
Suddenly Last Summer; Priest, over 50, manly; Norma Jean, early 30s,
blonde, pretty, head and face mostly covered by a scarf; Female, over fifty, walk-on
Time: 1957
Mood: Biting Satire
Playing Time: About one and a half hours, no intermission
Award: semi-finalist, Reverie Theater, Next Generation Playwrights Contest, 2006
(in Volume VIII of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
15. A PINT AT THE PREGNANT PRIEST, or a Pint at the Queen’s Arse —
Set in a modern-day country Irish pub, Old Ireland and New Ireland meet in a black romp that is both touching and comic. An American tourist encounters a grouchy pub owner as well as Mad Mary, who lives in a cardboard box, to say nothing of Father Finnessey, who is a pregnant Catholic priest. With magic in the air (literally), there is love all around for Mad Mary.
Mood: Comedy, with touching moments
Characters: (4) The American Tourist; The Pub Owner; Mad Mary; Father Finnessey
Playing Time: About 2 hours, with one intermission
(in Volume VI of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
16. GODOT ARRIVES
— Godot finally arrives, bringing mankind, in the form of two homeless men, various spiritual, worldly, and mental "answers" to life’s riddles, while the sinister clown Bozo interferes. All is presented in a comic, absurdist manner that is a comment on the theater as much as on human existence. Original script with entirely new content.
Mood: Absurdist comedy
Characters: (4) A.M (Stoogey); P.M. (Piddle); G.D.; Bozo
(All can be played by strong females) (The names Estragon and Vladimir can be used but not preferred.)
Playing Time: About 1 ½ hours, with one intermission
1999 WINNER: NATIONAL NEW PLAY CONTEST (Southwest Theatre Assoc.) Also: Performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Edinburgh, Scotland,
California Travel Troupe, summer, 2000. Also performed in the Orlando Fringe Festival,
2008 (excerpts on YouTube) Also performed by Cathaayatra Production, New Delhi, India, August, 2009 and again in March, 2011. Also Gannon University Fringe, March, 2012. Also U of Dhaka, Bangladesh, Dec., 2102.
(in Volume VI of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
17. 1001 NIGHTS AT THE HOUSE OF PANCAKES
— a series of vignettes that capture fragments of people’s lives as overheard in a restaurant — from the sad to the comic to the odd, with an emphasis on realistic drama/comedy. Some include the grandparent who has had to reject a grandchild forced on her, an Asian military bride who, as her English gets better, realizes who she has actually married, a militant smoker who won’t leave the restaurant, and two lovesick teens who think they’ve invented Love.
Most roles can be played by either males or females, and perhaps some of the pieces could be done twice in each performance, to show how the dynamics change when the sex of the person changes.
The vignettes can be done in almost any order, even with different casting for every performance, thus giving a different texture to each separate performance.
Mood: Realistic comedy and drama (would make a good video or movie)
Characters: (6) (men and women, mixed) They play multiple parts, of all types
Playing Time: Varies — from half an hour to two hours, depending on the number of pieces used. Probably around 1 hour and 10 minutes with no intermission would be best.
(in Volume V of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
18. A HISTORY OF REALLY, REALLY BAD IDEAS
— A series of sketches (20 available) that take a comic look at the silly ideas that have ruled the world — from sex to voicemail, from the Oracle at Delphi to dating O.J. Simpson.
Mood: Satirical, from light to harsh
Characters: (5 or 6) (three men, two or three women who play multiple parts)
Playing Time: From five minutes to one and a half hours, depending on
number of sketches used
First Performed: at B.A.I.T. Fringe Festival, San Francisco, September, 1996.
"Food Taster" (#6) Staged Reading, LAMA Theatre, NYC, May, 2016.
Also Produced at Under St. Mark's Theater, May, 2017.
"How Gays Destroyed the Family" (#18), Staged Reading, LAMA Theatre, NYC, June, 2016.
(in Volume VI of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
19. SIMPSON AGONISTES: The Truth and Nothing But in the O.J. Simpson Trial
— A satire on the trial of the century, giving all the unsaid subtext of those involved, whether it be Marcia Clark, Johnnie Cochran, or Rosa Lopez.
Mood: Satirical, from light to bitter
Characters: (6-8) to play multiple parts, can be done with scripts in hand at microphones
Playing Time: Half an hour to two hours, depending on amount used.
Not all scenes necessary. Select as needed
20. THE BLASPHEMER
— What happens when the leaders of Islam place a price on the head of a writer who has written a book questioning, even slightly, the validity and sanctity of their religion. What happens to the marriage of such a writer. Western and Muslim cultural conflict.
Mood: Docu-drama, with some humor, fast-paced
Characters: (8) The Novelist; his Wife; and three men, three women for multiple parts.
Playing Time: 2 hours (one intermission)
Scheduled but not performed by Cathaaytra Productions for 2011.
ALSO AVAILABLE with Female Lead (Karen Ralston-Rajeeb) (This version was selected as a SEMI-FINALIST in the O'Neill Playwrights Conference, 2016.
Performed at New York New Works in October, 2017.
(in Volume IV of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon) Semi-Finalist
21. MY UNKNOWN SON
— A man who has donated his sperm to a lesbian couple at the same time he is writing a history of the theater encounters various versions of the son he wants and doesn’t want, from Greek tragedy to Shakespearean comedy to Oscar Wilde to Sam Shepard, aided and resisted by a feisty Midwife.
Mood: Basically a comedy, with some powerful and touching scenes
Characters: (3) The Father; the Son; the Midwife (all major roles)
Playing Time: 1 hour, 18 minutes (no intermission)
Produced by Martin Kaufman, off-Broadway Equity production at the Kaufman Theater, NYC, October, 1988.
Also staged at the Circle Rep Lab, NYC, October, 1987.
First performed at Marin Theater Co, summer, Marin County, California, 1987
Published by Dialogus Play Service (out of print).
Published by Lodestar Quarterly.
FULL SCRIPT ONLINE: http://lodestarquarterly.com/work/159/5/
(in Volume III of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
22. WHEN BERTHA WAS A PRETTY NAME
— Several couples and family members are down for the weekend. The Hosts, two male lovers, are worried about Ma Mere, who does not approve of their love. Suzette is not happy with her wooden-legged stuffy Lover, and . . . This is a drawing-room comedy like those by Noel Coward and Somerset Maugham, but set in the present with modern issues.
Mood: High Comedy, with style; some farce
Characters : (8) Two Male Lovers; the Homophobic Mother Ogre; the sister, named Suzette; her Stuffy Lover; a Sex-Crazed Ex-lover of the Host; an English Butler; a Woman Publisher
Playing Time: 2 hours (one intermission)
Workshop: West Coast Playwrights, Marin County, Ca, 1988.
Published by Dialogus Play Service (out of print).
(in Volume IV of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
23. STUCK
— A modern-day white male heterosexual liberal Prometheus, in the form of a part-time college teacher, finds himself caught between corrupt Affirmative Action policies, neo-conservatism, and a male student’s sexual harassment accusation.
Mood: Comedy/ Drama.
Characters: (5) Joe, in his thirties; Ionia, his feminist office mate; Herm, his gay conservative colleague;
Leo Sues, the corrupt chairman of the Humanities Department; Boris Zilch, a dumb student
Playing Time: 2 hours (one intermission)
Top Ten Finalist, National New Play Contest, 2002
(in Volume III of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
24. MARGARET AND ERNIE VS. THE WORLD
— A retired woman school teacher, now blind, is introduced to a retired construction worker who has had a slight stroke; they encounter the social and personal pressures to "be a couple."
How many plays are about the loves of the elderly?
Mood: A touching drama with many laughs
Characters: Margaret, blind retired teacher, Ernie, roughneck, retired, Social Worker; a Junkie Thief; a Guard, a female Usher
Playing Time: Three acts, under 2 hours (one intermission)
First produced: The One-Act Theatre Company, San Francisco, 1981.
(in Volume II of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
25. THE THIRD PART OF HENRY THE FOURTH
— Prince Hal, now king, is challenged by his choleric brother, the Duke of Lancaster. Indeed he has to fear being thought a "playboy" monarch because he has sneaked Falstaff and his cronies into the castle for some high jinks and hilarity.
Mood: Authentic neo-Shakespearean play, not parody, sequel to Henry IV, Parts I, II
Characters: (15-19) King Hal; Falstaff; Duke of Lancaster; Frederick (a pompous emissary); Mistress Quickly; Doll Tearsheet; Duchess of Lancaster; assorted roles
Playing Time: Approximately 3 hours (one intermission)
Represented by agent Jeffrey Simmons, London: "I really am mightily impres
sed with HENRY IV Part Three, and I do not use words lightly. It is quite remarkably good and at times quite splendid."
(in Volume II of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
26. CINDERELLA II
— What happens after you live happily ever after? Cinderella finds Prince Charming too "perfect." She is falling in love with his less-than-charming brother, Prince Moe, and she’s even homesick for her awful stepsisters. Meanwhile, the evil court jester is plotting to overthrow the prince.
Mood: Musical Comedy (Music by Dan Turner, Book and Lyrics by Curzon)
Characters: (15-16) Cinderella; Prince Charming; Prince Moe; the Fairy Godmother; Tickle, the jester; two stepsisters (Gargola / Odia); Father; Mother; assorted small roles
Playing Time: 2 hours and 5 minutes. (one intermission)
First produced by the Angels of Light (Offshoot of the Cockettes), S.F., 1984.
WINNER: 3 Bay Area Theater Critics Circle Awards
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume III of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon) Tape of music available.
27. OLIVER CROMWELL AND THE BOYS (No Mince Pies)
— Oliver Cromwell and the Puritans are on the rampage, because they’ve been persecuted. King Charles I of England is a bit of fop and rather cruel and loses his head to them. The Puritans, once in power, turn out to be cruel taskmasters themselves, trying to legislate morality according to their code, punishing adultery and even Christmas celebrations. Judith, the daughter of a Puritan family, yearns to be in the theater in a time when women are not allowed to be.
Mood: Musical Dramedy — with parallels to contemporary religious fundamentalists,
but with entertainment the priority. (Music by Dan Turner, Book / Lyrics by Curzon)
Characters: (15) Judith; her Mother; her Father; her Brother; Cromwell;
Charles I (all singing roles); Heretic; Counselors; Chorus, etc.
Playing Time: 3 hours (one intermission) (Music available)
Workshop Production at City College of San Francisco, summer, 1986).
(in Volume II of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
28. PIXIES IN PERIL
— A parody of fairy tales. Wimp sets off against his will on a quest for the dragon’s gold through the intervention of some pixies and a meddling magician. Funny spiders; hillbilly gremlins; an Imp Princess who changes clothes every fifteen minutes, etc.
Mood: Broad Comedy
Characters: (12-15, with doubling) the Wimp; Pixies; Glorioso, the magician;
Affectionette (the Imp Queen); Ogress; Spiders; Monsters; Villains; the Dragon
Playing Time: 2 hours (one intermission)
Published by Dialogus Play Service (out of print).
(in Volume III of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
29. DON’T RUB ME THE WRONG WAY
— Four bisexuals answer an ad by mistake when a man advertises his furniture as "a good bi" when he wants to move. There is also a dangerous genie released from a magic lantern after a thousand years, and he’s not happy with the human race he is forced to serve and determines to do something about it.
Mood: A comedy with satirical bite.
Characters: (6) Sam, the non-bisexual main character; a "Liberated" Lady; Guy; a Reluctant Swinger; a comically Creepy Guy; Man who Speaks No Known Language; the Genie; a dog for a walk-on
Playing Time: 2 hours (one intermission)
Staged Reading: Gay Performance Company, New York, Spring, 1991.
Staged Reading: Phoenix Theater, San Francisco, 1996.
Published by Dialogus Play Service (out of print).
(in Volume V of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
30. I’M GLAD I’M ME AND NOT YOU, or Avatars
— Four people appear in various versions of themselves from 1893 to 1953 to 1973 to 1993 to 2093, revealing the way sexual taboos change and re-assert themselves in expansive and repressive times.
Mood: Serious comedy
Characters: (4) Adrian, who is gay, Matilda, who is prudish, Alice, who is daring, and Henry, who is "good old Henry"
Playing Time: 2 hours
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume IV of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
31. BEER AND RHUBARB PIE
— A sexy, homophobic, macho Cuban repairman, having marital problems, encounters a gentlemanly gay man, who is also having sexual problems with his ex-lover — now his roommate. Sexual tensions abound.
Mood: Drama with some humor
Characters: (4) the Cuban Repairman; The Cuban’s wife; the Gay Man;
the Ex-lover now roommate
Playing Time: (3 acts) 1 hour 45 minutes (+ intermission).
Videotape of one-act version, 25 minutes)
Produced twice at Theater Rhinoceros, San Francisco, 1979, 1980
(one-act version)
Staged reading; Gay Performances Co, May, NYC (three-acts), 1990
Published by Dialogus Play Service (one-act version, out of print)
(in Volume I of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
32. THE BIRTHDAY GIRL
— A woman drug addict of the middle class hates life. Her long-suffering husband watches and reluctantly begins to be sucked in as he discovers that he is addicted to his wife’s addiction.
Moo: Serious drama
Character: (6) Addict; her Husband; Teenage Sister; Mother; Father; Doctor
Playing Time: (2 acts) About 2 hours (one intermission)
First performed as one-act at One Act Theater Co, San Fran., 1982.
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume II of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon
33. THE BIRTHDAY BOY
— gay version of The Birthday Girl, with two men instead of a husband and wife.
(same as above)
Published by Dialogus Play Service (out of print).
35. BENEATH THE SURFACE
— Representative members of various prevailing minorities, from the handicapped to Native American, are trapped together in a subway train that is losing its air; their real feelings for each other come out. Unsentimental view of self-interest and bigotry in minorities.
Mood: Biting, politically incorrect, unsentimental satire
Characters: (12) Asian; Gay; Lesbian; Black Woman; Black Man;
White Woman; White Man; Foreigner, etc. (in masks)
Playing Time: 1 hour and 13 thirteen minutes
shorter version, Earnest Players, San Fran., 1979
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume I of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
36. SEX SHOW
— 15 satirical skits on various aspects of sex, from the ways men are allowed to touch, to a man having a dialogue with his penis about whether to masturbate.
Mood: Comedy
Characters: (5) People (all men?) who can play multiple roles
Playing Time: Under 2 hours (one intermission)
First performed: Gay Community Center, San Francisco, 1977.
Also Leavenworth YMCA , San Francisco, 1977.
Also Produced at the Mabuhay Gardens, San Francisco, 1977.
Nominated for Best Script by San Francisco Bay Area Theater Critics Circle, 1977.
(in Volume I of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
37. DEMONS
— A gay man is vexed by the spirits of three women in his life --
a grade school nun; his unloving mother; his ex-wife.
Mood: Drama with laughs
Characters: (4) the Man; the Nun; the Mother; the Ex-Wife
Playing Time: 2 hours (one intermission)
Staged reading: Julian Theater, San Francisco, 1983
Published by Dialogus Play Service (out of print).
(in Volume II of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
38. COMEBACK (a musical)
—A male cabaret singer is making a comeback as a female after a sex change. Personal and career challenges follow.
Mood: Musical Drama. (Music by Dan Turner, Lyrics by Curzon)
Characters: (4) The Male Self; the Female Self; the Lover; Person to play various other roles
Playing Time: 2 hours (one intermission) (Tape of music available)
Staged Reading: Noe Valley Ministry, 1987
Published by Dialogus Play Service (out of print)
(in Volume I of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
39. VERY NASTY INDEED
— Thriller set in an English manor house, where two sisters, a husband, and a gardener plot / counter plot clever murders against each other.
Mood: Thriller with possible comic/camp overtones. Keeps the audience on pins and needles wondering who will win.
Characters: (4) The older sisters (in her 40s); the younger sister (in her 30s);
the husband (30s); the feeble-minded gardener (in his 20s)
Playing Time: 2 hours (one intermission)
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume VI of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
*Americanized version produced by Cinemastar Productions as a TV series, 2013-14.
40. HUGELY ENTERTAINING
— A group of "seminarians" is enrolled in a theatre course in London. They ought to get along since they have a common interest, but someone’s purse has been stolen, another asks really stupid questions of their British theatre guests, one is a transsexual studying to be a clairvoyant, another is an old Shakespearean actor going blind, another a woman director with enrollment problems, plus a bed-wetting, blithe countess, and then some really interesting characters are there too .
Mood: Realistic comedy drama
Characters: (10) Each is a mixture of the comic and the sad, like most people:
a witty, suicidal Lesbian, with lovaer troubles, has a play to market, fortyish;
an old British Actor going blind, Shakespeare idolater, over sixty; the British
Guest (multiple parts played by a man over thirty — actor, director, always
the same person with different names, sometimes a mustache or other slight changes);
the self-reliant, impatient, falsely compassionate Director of the Program, heard it all,
once killed someone in a car accident, over thirty-five;
a poorly self-educated, badly dressed Social Outcast Male, any age; a would-be
Clairvoyant, sensitive, also a Transsexual, played by a man, over forty, but not
a "drag" role; something of a Male Gold-Digger but not too good at it, who is
also a scholarship actor, thirties, handsome, under thirty-five; a Young Actress,
opinionated, aloof, optimistic, overindulged, may have potential, under twenty;
a Nice Woman who tells people what they want to hear, others try to guess her
secret and gossip about her, over forty; the Countess De La Rue, streetwise,
self-assured, bed-wetting nobility whom others always want to wait on, changes
her plans often, exerts natural superiority, unfazed by her own foibles, over thirty-five
Playing Time: (3 acts, three hours)
(in Volume VI of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
41. THE MURDER OF GONGAZO — A COMEDY
(Also available in a one-act version. See information below under one-acts.
-- What a playwright will do to make her new play a success.
Mood: Comedy
CLICK LINK TO FULL SCRIPT:
42. HEAVEN — THE MUSICAL
— A hot new dance Club has just opened. Besides the hot dancing and the ‘refreshments,’ there are rumors that sex and other Unmentionable Things of all types (straight, bi, gay) take place in secret "closets" spread throughout the building. People are outside clamoring to get in; they’ll even pay — whatever is asked. But you can’t get in — not unless the Doorman picks you. And he’s very fussy and arbitrary about who these Special People are. Even some famous people have been turned away. An engaged young couple is out on the town just before they are to go back home to the Midwest to be married. They’ve decided to have a Bachelor Party in the big city before the big day — only together. Aww, how sweet! They see the commotion outside the new Club and stop to see what’s going on. They shouldn’t have.
Mood: Musical Drama (needs music)
Character:
(10-20) Cassie, an impulsive young woman from the Midwest, in her twenties; Milton, her fiancé, a conservative young man, also in his twenties; has a twin brother who died; Other Couple, a brother and a sister in their forties, with the sister very butch and the brother fem, also trying to get into the Club; Leather Boy, any age, a dynamic, contradictory sexy Mephistopheles in leather; Closeteers, a group of versatile actor-singer-dancers who play all the other parts.
Playing Time: (2 acts, three hours)
CLICK LINK TO SCRIPT:
(in Volume VII of Collected Plays of Daniel Curzon)
For Production Rights for any play:
Tel: 415-297-9220
After my death, people may produce any script of mine as long as some form of royalty is paid to my estate or heirs, preferably the prevailing rate for theater royalties. DC
Professor Alfonso Caballos Munoz of the University of Cadiz in Spain is in charge of editing and publishing my plays.
